Sam's Banjo Song

Text inside the brackets are the choices in the dialog box. The text outside is what Sam really says.

Lyrics
{spoken} Hello. I'd like to do a little song I call...


 * "Busted Down Hound Dog Blues"
 * "Trigger-Happy Hound Dog Blues
 * "Lazy, Smelly Ol' Hound Dog Blues"
 * "Love has a Thorny Backside"
 * "Love Is Creamed Chipped Beef on Toast"
 * "Love Makes Me Itch"
 * "Bottleneck on the Freeway of Doom"
 * "Feathers and Furious Scribbling"
 * "All About My Left Ear"
 * "Craving for Undeserved Fame and Fortune"
 * "The Agony of Having Everything You Want or Need"
 * "Just Like Someone Else's Song Only Somehow Better"

{clears throat}


 * [I am in terrible torment.] Howlin' at that drippy ol' hunk of moo-n.
 * [I am unbelievably happy.] Shiny like a new mylar balloo-n.
 * [I am cryptic and therefore deep.] May the starfish justice not impu-gn.
 * [I am more successful than you.] Chompin' on a crunchy silver spoo-n.


 * [My girl is the greatest thing since sliced bread.] She's the headline, page one, The Tribu-ne.
 * [My girl is cheating on me.] She's at brunch today with some baboo-n.
 * [I've solved life's greatest mystery but I'm not telling.] Thinkin' 'bout the rings on the Great Raccoo-n.
 * [I am cooler and hipper than you will ever be.] Playin' cocktail angst on my bassoo-n.


 * [Pity me.] Road to someday, bits of me are stre-wn.
 * [Admire me.] All the girlies hear me and they swoo-n.
 * [Let me remind you that I write songs.] And so I wrote this extremely catchy tu-ne.
 * [I'll say anything just to make it rhyme.] Blowin' like a zephyr on a du-ne.